im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
