Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
