If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
