It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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