she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
