Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize