I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
