absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
