Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
