I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
