btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
