y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
4 words: hood of his car
Do vagina's smell?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize