what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
