some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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