Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
