Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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