Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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