i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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