She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
