addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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