Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
