wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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