Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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