Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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