so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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