I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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