and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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