Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
