She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
