And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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