Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize