Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
