if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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