I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
