S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
