Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize