It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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