jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
