Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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