I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
even my farts smell like vagina
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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