It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
