Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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