She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize