You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
