So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
