you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
