yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
