im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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