Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
