If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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