This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
