I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
