doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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