I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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