what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
