If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
