yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
