i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
