at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
