She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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