i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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