if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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